live each day like it was your last. i always find myself to seemingly take life for granted, as if nothing could bring me down. but before i know it, life could throw me a curve ball, and only then would i realize how precious each breath really is
The pure fact that this doesn’t even need a title or a description or anything speaks volumes. I mean look at the number of notes this has. There are so few people who don’t recognize it. And the song itself just gives you chills. It’s so magical.
take me back to hogwarts <3
This is what happens when white guys listen to Indian music
i’m reblogging this again because i’ve decided that this is how the mornings are going to start in my and maya’s apartment.
this is the best thing in the whole entire world
you know whats scary? not knowing your future…and im not talking about where i’ll end up, or what career i’ll have, etc. im talking about pain.
about six years ago i had scoliosis surgery. they fused two metal rods on the sides of my lower spine to make it straighter and prevent more curving. this was just to fix the biggest curve in my spine, in reality i actually had three. they were hoping that the other two curves would naturally fix themselves and decided to just fuse the lower curve with the hopes that i would have more flexibility post surgery. my curves were pretty large, and if the curves kept advancing, it would eventually crush my lungs. this was the main reason we decided to go through with the surgery.
at the time i was 13 and in the eighth grade. In my previous physicals, my spine was fine. and yet, in the span of 6 months, my spine completely changed. i guess i could tell something was wrong because my lower back would constantly be hurting. after a checkup with an orthopedic surgeon, and realizing what had happened, i was frustrated. how did this happen? why did this happen? so many questions filled my head. I was terrified when i learned i had to go through with surgery. i remember going to a orthopedic surgeon in california to get a second opinion about my spine. i was so nervous my legs couldnt stop shaking. i was also mad that this was happening to me. why me? life was so great at the time, why me? knowing that at such a young age, i was never going to grow again really totally and truly sucked. knowing that i wasnt going to be able to do things like before really sucked. knowing that there was forever going to be a huge scar across my back sucked.
the week after surgery, all my friends and family came to visit me. i was so happy. they decorated my room with balloons and flowers and foooods. my parents would take turn staying the night with me. and when i got back home, my friend rearranged the living room and decorated it to look like my room. i had to stay in the living room during my recovery because my room was on the second floor. i was slowly healing, and i became a stronger person because of it.
reflecting back on my high school experience, the surgery obviously changed my physical capability to do things, particularly sports. before surgery, swimming was basically my life. i was on the swim team and would swim almost two hours everyday. i was also on the track team and wasnt too shabby at running the distances. however, because of my surgery i couldnt do any physical activity for 6 months. sounds like a short time right? except 6 months can really change you. it was like all those years i dedicated to those sports before didnt count for anything. i had to start from the very beginning. i became ridiculously slow at both swimming and track. i tried to get into both sports, but i dont think i was ever as fast as i was before my surgery. i guess it makes sense because then i was in the best shape of my life. and now i was starting over. and because i was never the same i guess i kind of gave up. i tried to do things like before, but i was tired of not getting anywhere. even with karate, i was so dedicated to. but it was so hard getting into the rhythm of things again, i eventually stopped going. and thinking about it now, i really wished i had stuck to those sports. they really made me happy. and i truly wonder how my life would be different if i had kept up with it. id probably be a lot more fit haha.
after the surgery, my body was changed. the nagging pain in my lower back was gone. but was replaced with part of my left thigh being a little numb. over the years the numbness has got much better, and i think ive recovered most of the feeling back. there would also be random sharp pains in my spine. like a spark was traveling up it. that was no fun either. but i guess what really scares me is the present and future. it might be due to the added pressure my lower spine has because of the two rods, but everytime i bend down and come back up, my lower back will ache for a while. not a long while, maybe 10 seconds. and now more often than not, my upper spine is starting to ache, or the muscles around it. and it really scares me. if my back feels like this now, when im 19, who knows how its going to feel in 20 years? 30? 40? im scared not knowing what my future is going to hold. im scared of the pain that might come. also, if the curve in my upper spine gets worse, then another surgery might be needed. which kinda really sucks. oh and another thing, when i decide to have kids i wont be able to have any painkillers during delivery…because they release it via the spine…AWESOME. ohhh right, theres also a 30% chance my kids will have scoliosis too…FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!
i dont know man, i guess i gotta be grateful that the first surgery was semi successful right? cant be too greedy or anything. im just frustrated that things happened the way they happened. why god couldnt give me a perfect spine, ill never know. but i guess everything happens for a reason. i need to remember what ive experienced and triumphed against. sometimes i forget how strong i can really be.
SOOO i guess this post was just a rant, reflection, idk about my spine…if anyone is reading this, be grateful for everything you have dudes. health is most important kay guyzz.
sometimes i wish my friends were a little more outdoorsy…i mean how does shopping, movies, chilling at a friends house not get boring eventually? i love them, dont get me wrong. and i know spending time with each other is the important part, but i wish we’d switch things up more often :D